Difference between empathetic listening and sympathetic listening

Empathy vs. Sympathy: What’s the Difference?

What’s the difference of empathy vs. sympathy?

While they are often used interchangeably, there are crucial differences that lead to very different outcomes. “Empathy drives connection,” says social psychologist and bestselling author Brené Brown, “and sympathy drives disconnection.” Learn more about the difference of empathy vs. sympathy and get practical tips to increase your empathy.

by Michael Miller

How to be More Empathetic

If you find yourself more sympathetic than empathetic, the good news is that you can change. Switching from sympathy to empathy takes a change of focus, plenty of humility, and practice. The first step is to catch yourself in the sympathy mode. If you realize you’re comparing stories, trying to give advice, using the catchphrases “at least” or “just” you’re in sympathy mode. Catch it, stop it, and turn it around. Please understand that we’ve received and probably tried almost all possible advice, taken care of others when they express heartbreak over our own lives and been “one-upped” by countless stories of others. Cliches and pat answers are just as bad. When you feel like you’re drowning in chaos and can’t handle anything, being told that “God won’t give you more than you can handle” sounds trite and dismissive.

Moving into empathy means asking questions, listening without interrupting, and focusing on the speaker, not on your response, or often admitting you don’t know what to say. Instead of seeking to ease your discomfort, you sit in it with them in it, knowing that it’s only a tiny portion of their own. You choose to walk with them for a few steps, side by side, knowing you can’t carry the load, but that your presence matters all the same.

You most certainly won’t master empathy on your first try, but if you pay attention and learn as you go, you’ll get there.

Alethea Msharis a Special Needs Mom and Blogger.

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Empathic Listening: Definition, Examples and Tips

By Indeed Editorial Team

February 8, 2021

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Being a close and caring listener can be as vital in the workplace as it is in your personal life. Validating others’ viewpoints and expressing your compassion is an important way of communicating for building and maintaining strong working relationships. In this article, we’ll define empathic listening, discuss why it’s important and provide tips and examples for empathic listening in your career.

Empathy vs sympathy: key characteristics

Understanding the differences between empathy and sympathy can help you choose the most appropriate one given your circumstances. While empathy supports a deeper connection, there are times when a sympathetic response is more fitting.

To clarify, here is an overview empathy and sympathy and some examples of each.

What is empathy?

• Feeling what someone else feels
• Actively listening to what they have to say
• Not judging
• Being aware of nuances and non-verbal cues
• Discovering their perspective
• Acknowledging everyone's feelings

Empathy is the ability to understand and share a person’s feelings. If you’re an empathetic person, you can listen to what someone else has to say without judgment.

This ability to connect is not limited by your own experiences. An empathetic person can feel someone else’s emotions, regardless of their personal experiences.

You’re able to discover their perspective with awareness of non-verbal cues. You’re also able to simply listen without feeling forced to provide unwanted advice.

Plus, you can acknowledge everyone’s feelings in a given situation. This is particularly helpful in leadership positions. Looking at the bigger picture can help make more informed decisions.

Practicing empathy, instead of sympathy only, can help you get the emotional clarity you need to build upon important relationships. It can let you see another point of view.

Having empathy can also help you toimprove your communication skills.That’s because you’re able to listen fully to others and understand their perspectives.

In fact, research shows that empathy can evenhelp sustain cooperation during social dilemmas.Other studies have found that in a service setting,empathy can reduce discrimination and unethical behavior.

This is important tofoster a happier, healthier workplaceandbuild a sense of belonging.

What is sympathy?

• Having thoughts about what someone feels
• When in conversation, giving unasked advice
• Passing judgment
• Only noticing the surface level issue
• Understanding only from your perspective
• Ignoring or suppressing your own emotions

Unlike empathy, practicing sympathy doesn’t mean you feel what someone else feels. Instead, you feel pity or sorry for someone else’s feelings.

You feel bad for someone, but you don’t understand how they feel.

A sympathetic approach only provides a surface-level understanding of someone else’s situation. This understanding is typically from your perspective, not theirs.

Sympathy can also lead someone to give unsolicited advice to help the other person deal with their emotions.

When offering this advice, it's common for sympathetic people to pass judgment. Unlike empathy, it’s still possible to pass judgment with sympathy.

What Is Empathic Listening?

Themeaning of empathic listeningis rooted in attentiveness, showing compassion and being kind to others when they’re speaking.Empathetic listeningis built on mutual respect and it shows that you’re paying attention to the speaker.

Here are some examples of empathic listening to help you understand:

1. Khyati’s teammate suddenly tells her that she wants to quit. Concerned, Khyati asks her why and if there’s something she can do to help. Her teammate expresses her concerns while Khyati listens patiently—without giving her advice.

1. Kiran finds it hard to speak up during meetings. She’s unable to get her points across and her colleague, Maya, notices this. Next time, Maya makes it a point to invite Kiran to speak without putting her on the spot.

1. Prakash enjoys working with his team so when his manager moves him to a different floor, he expresses his disappointment. His team member finds an opportunity to convince their manager to let him continue working on the same floor as them.

Each of these examples of empathetic listening shows that you have to listen before you react, make assumptions or make judgments. What the speaker needs is a chance to express their feelings and emotions. Not only will this help you understand others but encourage positive interactions at work.