What is Active Listening?
Active Listening is a four-step process:
- Truly listen to the prospect.
- Feed back the content and feeling of the prospect’s words.
- Confirm you heard the prospect correctly.
- Ask a relevant follow up question to further clarify your understanding of their situation.
Active Listening isn’t only applicable to sales, nor is it a new thing. Dr. Carl Rogers, one of the founding fathers of psychotherapy research, originated the concept of “reflective listening” in the 1940s. In the following years, Richard Farson, a student of his, renamed it “Active Listening.”
Another student of Rogers, Dr. Thomas Gordon, a three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, is largely responsible for popularizing the strategy. Gordon’s company, Gordon Training International, has taught thousands of people to build more effective relationships through Active Listening, among other skills.
While I haven’t received instruction directly from Gordon Training, I’ve stuck pretty close to their definition of the concept. To make it simple, I teach Active Listening as a four-step process:
- Truly listen to the prospect.
- Feed back the content and feeling of the prospect’s words.
- Confirm you heard the prospect correctly.
- Ask a relevant follow up question to further clarify your understanding of their situation.
1. Truly listen to the prospect
Sales reps are often too busy talking to listen. Even if they are tuned in, they’re often just listening for a specific word or challenge that tips them off as to whether the prospect needs their product.
Salespeople who do this are not much different than a dog waiting for a command. [Yes, I might have just called you a dog.] When salespeople do this, prospects can sense it, and they come to the conclusion that the rep simply wants to sell them something regardless of whether they need it or not. It’s a downward spiral that usually leads to nowhere.
But the best salespeople listen differently. They forget about the script [and maybe even their own agenda], and really listen to the words and feelings that a prospect is conveying in their language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.
By observing auditory, visual, and physical clues as well as the prospect’s words, a salesperson can truly begin to understand the plight of their prospect and put themselves in the buyer’s shoes.
And this type of listening can make a huge difference by encouraging prospects to open up more, and fostering trust and commitment.
So when you’re on the phone or in a meeting with a prospect, ignore the distractions around you, throw out the script, stop worrying about what you’re going to say next, and really pay attention.
2. Feed back what you just heard back to the prospect
After a prospect makes a statement that reveals something important about their challenges or what they’re looking for, feed it back to them so they can hear it from you. Your goal with this step is to feed back your understanding; that is to say, your best guess at what’s going on with the other person.
Sometimes, this can be done non-verbally. But without the benefit of face-to-face presence, inside sales reps must do this verbally.
I usually show salespeople how to use one of the three approaches described below:
- Repeat what you heard verbatim. This is the easiest route, because the prospect will hear exactly what they just said and can either confirm their meaning or clarify their statement. But be careful not to overuse this approach with a prospect as they might start to doubt your understanding. [Parrots don’t actually understand, right?]
- Paraphrase what you heard. This is a better approach than simple repetition of what they said. By paraphrasing, you can condense what they said into something more concise. When you do this, your prospect knows you listened because you internalized their speech enough to summarize what they said. However, avoid oversimplifying and leaving out important details -- this might shake the buyer’s confidence in you.
- Put what you just heard into your own words. This is the best tactic of all. By putting what you just heard into your words, you’re showing your prospect that you have a framework for understanding situations like theirs and can empathize with their struggle. Just be careful not to drift too far from their language. Use unfamiliar vocabulary or terms sparingly, and make sure to explain them when you do.
By feeding back what you just heard, you’ll make an immediate impression on your prospect. Since most people are not great listeners by nature, your prospect will be appreciative of your ability to listen effectively and summarize.
Convincing your prospect that they’ve been heard and understood is the most important outcome of this step in the process. But, don’t leave that to chance ...
3. Confirm that you’ve heard them correctly
This critical step is often overlooked. After you’ve paraphrased what your prospect has said, simply ask “Did I communicate that effectively?” or “Do you believe I understand what you have shared with me?” If the prospect says “no” you now have an opportunity to clarify your understanding by asking “Could you clarify for me what I might have missed or got wrong?”
Notice how those questions create an opening for them to give you honest feedback. In contrast, I don’t recommend saying “Does that make sense?” or “Could you explain that better?” or any other question that puts the blame on the prospect for not communicating effectively.
Michelle Adams, VP of Gordon Training says, “When you nail it, you know it and the other person tells you that you did by saying things like: ‘Yes! That's it!’ or ‘Exactly, you've nailed it.’ Or they will begin nodding their head emphatically. If you miss on your Active Listening, they will tell you that too with: ‘Well, no, it's not that. It's more like this … ’ or they will look at you like you're nuts.”
The following video from Gordon Training shows this step in action.