General Listening Types:
The two main types of listening - the foundations of all listening sub-types are:
- Discriminative Listening
- Comprehensive Listening
Discriminative Listening
Discriminative listening is first developed at a very early age – perhaps even before birth, in the womb. This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced. In early childhood, for example, a distinction is made between the sounds of the voices of the parents – the voice of the father sounds different to that of the mother.
Discriminative listening develops through childhood and into adulthood. As we grow older and develop and gain more life experience, our ability to distinguish between different sounds is improved. Not only can we recognise different voices, but we also develop the ability to recognise subtle differences in the way that sounds are made – this is fundamental to ultimately understanding what these sounds mean. Differences include many subtleties, recognising foreign languages, distinguishing between regional accents and clues to the emotions and feelings of the speaker.
Being able to distinguish the subtleties of sound made by somebody who is happy or sad, angry or stressed, for example, ultimately adds value to what is actually being said and, of course, does aid comprehension. When discriminative listening skills are combined with visual stimuli, the resulting ability to ‘listen’ to body-language enables us to begin to understand the speaker more fully – for example recognising somebody is sad despite what they are saying or how they are saying it.
Example
Imagine yourself surrounded by people who are speaking a language that you cannot understand. Perhaps passing through an airport in another country. You can probably distinguish between different voices, male and female, young and old and also gain some understanding about what is going on around you based on the tone of voice, mannerisms and body language of the other people. You are not understanding what is being said but using discriminative listening to gain some level of comprehension of your surroundings.
Comprehensive Listening
Comprehensive listening involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated. Like discriminative listening, comprehensive listening is fundamental to all listening sub-types.
In order to be able use comprehensive listening and therefore gain understanding the listener first needs appropriate vocabulary and language skills. Using overly complicated language or technical jargon, therefore, can be a barrier to comprehensive listening. Comprehensive listening is further complicated by the fact that two different people listening to the same thing may understand the message in two different ways. This problem can be multiplied in a group setting, like a classroom or business meeting where numerous different meanings can be derived from what has been said.
Comprehensive listening is complimented by sub-messages from non-verbal communication, such as the tone of voice, gestures and other body language. These non-verbal signals can greatly aid communication and comprehension but can also confuse and potentially lead to misunderstanding. In many listening situations it is vital to seek clarification and use skills such as reflection aid comprehension.
Signs of Active Listening
Non-Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening
This is a generic list of non-verbal signs of listening, in other words people who are listening are more likely to display at least some of these signs. However these signs may not be appropriate in all situations and across all cultures.
Smile
Small smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of agreeing or being happy about the messages being received. Combined with nods of the head, smiles can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood.
Eye Contact
It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. Eye contact can however be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers – gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation. Combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker.
Posture
Posture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions. The attentive listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting. Other signs of active listening may include a slight slant of the head or resting the head on one hand.
Mirroring
Automatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening. These reflective expressions can help to show sympathy and empathy in more emotional situations. Attempting to consciously mimic facial expressions [i.e. not automatic reflection of expressions] can be a sign of inattention.
Distraction
The active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails.
See our pages: Non-Verbal Communication, Body Language and Personal Appearance for more information.
Be Aware That:
It is perfectly possible to learn and mimic non-verbal signs of active listening and not actually be listening at all.
It is more difficult to mimic verbal signs of listening and comprehension.
How to Practice Active Listening
Active listening involves more than just hearing someone speak. Here are some active listening techniques to master.
Pay Attention [and Show It]
Concentrate fully on what is being said. Listen with all your senses and give your full attention to the speaker. Put away your phone, ignore distractions, avoid daydreaming, and shut down your internal dialogue.
To show the person you're truly turned in, look at them and be mindful of nonverbal behaviors. Use open, nonthreatening body language. Avoid folding your arms. Smile, lean in, and nod at key junctures. Consciously control your facial expressions, avoiding any that convey negative impressions.
Making eye contact is especially important. In general, aim to maintain it for 60% to 70% of the time you spend listening.
Reflect What You Hear
Paraphrase what the person has said, rather than offering unsolicited advice or opinions. For example, you might say, "In other words, what you are saying is that you're frustrated" or "I'm hearing that you're frustrated about this situation." Summarize what you've heard. Mirroring what the person has said helps them feel validated and understood.
Withhold Judgment
Remain neutral and non-judgmental in your responses so that the person feels safe enough to continue sharing their thoughts. Make the conversation a safe zone where the person can trust they won't be shamed, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively received.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Avoid "yes or no questions"; they often produce dead-end answers. Instead, ask open-ended questions about the person to show you are interested in them and to encourage thoughtful, expansive responses.
If you'd like to better understand something the person has said, ask for clarification. Don't focus so much on insignificant details that you miss the big picture.
Be Patient
Don't interrupt, fill periods of silence with speech, finish the person's sentences, or top the story [for example, saying "that reminds me of the time I..."]. Similarly, listen to understand, not to respond. That is, don't prepare a reply while the other person is still speaking; the last thing they say might change the meaning of what they've already said. Don't change the subject abruptly; this conveys boredom and impatience.
When you listen actively, you are fully engaged and immersed in what the other person is saying.
Much like a therapist listening to a client, you are there to act as a sounding board rather than to jump in with your own ideas and opinions about what is being said.