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What Makes Someone A Good Listener?
If you have the following qualities, you are a good listener:
You don’t get distracted easily
We all try our best to listen, whether it’s a short meeting or lengthy conference. But some of us get distracted by side conversations or are tempted to reply to a text message.
You may think that it is possible to multitask by doing something else while also listening to someone. But you can’t truly listen to someone and do something else at the same time. Being distracted by another task isn’t one of thecharacteristics of a good listener.
Make sure you don’t have external or internal distractions to be a good listener. Put your phone away, tune out any side conversations and noise, and shut your laptop. Remember, listening to someone is not the time to show off your multitasking skills. Paying complete attention to the speaker is one of the most importanttraits of good listeners.
You are eager to learn from others
Has it ever happened to you? Your friend tells you about how he lost a new phone a week ago. And instead of empathizing, you tune him out knowing how forgetful he is. So you are happy to miss out on the new information as you feel you have already heard the same story before. But, if you have the characteristics of effective listening, you will listen intently.
No matter how much you may think you already know about the person, there’s always more to discover. One of the main traits of good listeners is listening with great interest until the end.
Sometimes, you know more about some subjects and are more eager to share your viewpoints than listen to the other person. But you have to listen and make sure not to interrupt.
Patience is among the essentialtraits of a good listener. A good listener gives the speaker time by letting them complete their point. And if you possess thequalities of a good listener, you don’t interrupt the speaker. Rather, you patiently wait until the end to share your thoughts or feedback.
You ask the right questions
Listening does not mean sitting in silence. Most people forget that communication is a two-way process. So the next time you are listening, try asking clarifying questions at the appropriate moment. Asking thoughtful questions shows that you were paying attention and are interested in the speaker’s points.
The other benefit of asking questions is it helps ensure you have understood the point. This is one of the characteristics of a good listener.
You accept other opinions
Another one of the characteristics of effective listening is open-mindedness. Remember, a conversation is a dialogue. It’s an exchange of ideas. You must be prepared to learn something new and change your perspective during a conversation.
Unfortunately, many people lack the traits of a good listener and refuse to listen to other perspectives. Knowing and instilling the characteristics of a good listener can help you to see the world from the other person’s lens. So remember, being open to other opinions is one of the key traits of a good listener.
We meet people who won’t stop talking. We also meet people who only listen blankly and don’t bother to respond. A good communicator blends both sides bringing out the characteristics of effective listening. To be a good communicator, you first need to possess the qualities of a good listener. And you can do so by creating a good listening climate at your workplace. Harappa’s Listening Actively course teaches you how to build a listening climate and the best practices used in many organizations to improve listening skills. Join the course today and take the first step towards becoming an active listener.
Explore topics such as Active Listening, How to Improve Listening Skills, Listening Barriers, Listening Process and the Principles of Effective Listening from our Harappa Diaries blog section to ace your soft skills.
These 10 Qualities Make You An Exceptional Listener
There are different kinds of listeners. Some people listen only until they get an answer. Others only listen to their own needs and thoughts. And there are those who truly listen. Attentively and eager to really understand what someone is trying to say. Good listeners seem to carry this power around with them wherever they […]
Good listeners seem to carry this power around with them wherever they go. It surrounds them, they mediate a sense of trust and warmth. Conversations with them usually just “flow” and you leave feeling refreshed and understood. Maybe you know a person like this in your group of friends. Maybe it’s you! Here are some of the characteristics a good listener has.
The importance of listening
Communication takes place along four modalities: speaking, writing, listening, and reading. It is common for instructors to teach speaking, writing, and reading skills, and yet, listening is at once the least understood and most important of these competencies.
Listening is an important communication competence that includes complex cognitive processes like understanding and interpreting messages, affective processes like being motivated to pay attention, and behavioral processes like responding with both verbal and nonverbal feedback. In other words, to be an effective listener, the listener has to take into consideration what he or she is thinking about the communication being received, what he or she is feeling about the communication and also the context of the conversation, and what he or she will do in the process and as a result of the communication.
The characteristics of effective listening thus range across these cognitive, affective, and behavioral frames.
Cognitive characteristics of effective listening
- Probing
- Paraphrasing
- Summarizing
Asking questions to follow up or for clarification, paraphrasing the individual communications, and summarizing the conversation are all activities that show the listener’s cognitive engagement in the conversation, indicating his or her attempts to fully understand and correctly interpret the messages being relayed.
Affective characteristics of effective listening
- Focusing of attention
- Acceptance
- Empathy
The effective listener can also signal his or her affective engagement in the conversation by making it the sole focus of attention, and by receiving communications with acceptance and empathy. Receiving communications with empathy requires that the listener try to avoid projecting his or her own opinions, feelings or prejudices onto the speaker, and that the listener accept the speaker’s communications without simultaneously trying to craft a response.
Behavioral characteristics of effective listening
- Non-verbal behavior
- Advice
Action is also part of effective listening. The listener should communicate his or her attention through non-verbal means like eye contact, erect posture, nodding, and other positive body language. The listener can also demonstrate engagement by broadening the range of the conversation, such as by inquiring about or suggesting alternatives to the topic or conclusions at hand.
Teaching effective listening
In a dynamic classroom, both the instructor and the students need to be effective listeners. Perfecting listening skills will foster learning in the classroom by helping students master the content of the course, ask incisive questions, and learn to think critically about the content of the course. Listening skills also play a crucial role in personal and professional success and are especially important to master for students for whom the language of instruction is not their first language. Because listening is such a complex activity, or a broad field of activities, inculcating good listening habits in students requires the instructor to address each of these types of listening processes.
Resources for teaching effective listening
For enabling effective listening in students whose first language is not English:
//itl.uconn.edu/blog/?tag=active-listening
For in-class listening exercises:
Peterson, S. [2012] “The labor of listening.” International Journal of Listening, 26:2, 87-90.
Thompson, K., Leintz, P., Nevers, B., & Witkowski, S. [2004] “The integrative listening model: an approach to teaching and learning listening.” The Journal of general Education, 53:3-4, 225-246.
Additional references on listening in general:
- Bodie, G.D., Worthington, D., Imhof, M. & Cooper, L.O. [2008] “What would a unified field of listening look like? A proposal linking past perspectives and future endeavors.” International Journal of Listening, 22:2, 103-122.
- Edwards, R. [2011] “Listening and message interpretation.” International Journal of Listening, 25:1-2, 47-65.
- Jones, S. M. [2011] “Supportive listening.” International Journal of Listening, 25:1-2, 85-103.
Additional references on effective listening in particular:
Charactertistics of Effective Listening, Stanford Teaching Commons