What are two ways that you can show someone that you are actively listening?
How to Practice Active ListeningActive listening involves more than just hearing someone speak. Here are some active listening techniques to master. Show
Pay Attention (and Show It)Concentrate fully on what is being said. Listen with all your senses and give your full attention to the speaker. Put away your phone, ignore distractions, avoid daydreaming, and shut down your internal dialogue. To show the person you're truly tuned in, look at them and be mindful of nonverbal behaviors. Use open, non-threatening body language. Avoid folding your arms. Smile, lean in, and nod at key junctures. Consciously control your facial expressions, avoiding any that convey negative impressions. Making eye contact is especially important. In general, aim to maintain it for 60% to 70% of the time you spend listening. Reflect What You HearParaphrase what the person has said, rather than offering unsolicited advice or opinions. For example, you might say, "In other words, what you are saying is that you're frustrated" or "I'm hearing that you're frustrated about this situation." Summarize what you've heard. Mirroring what the person has said helps them feel validated and understood. Withhold JudgmentRemain neutral and non-judgmental in your responses so that the person feels safe enough to continue sharing their thoughts. Make the conversation a safe zone where the person can trust they won't be shamed, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively received. Ask Open-Ended QuestionsAvoid "yes or no" questions; they often produce dead-end answers. Instead, ask open-ended questions about the person to show you are interested in them and to encourage thoughtful, expansive responses. If you'd like to better understand something the person has said, ask for clarification. But don't focus so much on insignificant details that you miss the big picture. Be PatientDon't interrupt, fill periods of silence with speech, finish the person's sentences, or top the story (for example, saying "that reminds me of the time I..."). Similarly, listen to understand, not to respond. That is, don't prepare a reply while the other person is still speaking; the last thing they say might change the meaning of what they've already said. Don't change the subject abruptly; this conveys boredom and impatience. When you listen actively, you are fully engaged and immersed in what the other person is saying. Much like a therapist listening to a client, you are there to act as a sounding board rather than to jump in with your own ideas and opinions about what is being said. Signs of Active ListeningNon-Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active ListeningThis is a generic list of non-verbal signs of listening, in other words people who are listening are more likely to display at least some of these signs. However these signs may not be appropriate in all situations and across all cultures. SmileSmall smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of agreeing or being happy about the messages being received. Combined with nods of the head, smiles can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood. Eye ContactIt is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. Eye contact can however be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers – gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation. Combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker. PosturePosture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions. The attentive listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting. Other signs of active listening may include a slight slant of the head or resting the head on one hand. MirroringAutomatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening. These reflective expressions can help to show sympathy and empathy in more emotional situations. Attempting to consciously mimic facial expressions (i.e. not automatic reflection of expressions) can be a sign of inattention. DistractionThe active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails. See our pages: Non-Verbal Communication, Body Language and Personal Appearance for more information. Be Aware That: It is perfectly possible to learn and mimic non-verbal signs of active listening and not actually be listening at all. It is more difficult to mimic verbal signs of listening and comprehension. 10 tips for active listeningListening is an important skill in all areas of life, whether you’re supporting a loved one through health problems, dealing with colleagues or in family relationships. But most of us aren’t as good at listening as we’d like to think. When we show we’re really listening, it’s much more rewarding for the person talking to you, and you’ll get more out of it too. This is called active listening, and it can help avoid misunderstanding and reduce the potential for conflict. Here are 10 easy ways to make your communication more effective and make the other person feel more valued. What Is Active Listening? How Can I Do It Better?What Is Active Listening?Active listening requires you to listen attentively to a speaker, understand what they’re saying, respond and reflect on what’s being said, and retain the information for later. This keeps both listener and speaker actively engaged in the conversation. The listener may use active listening techniques like paying close attention to the speaker’s behavior and body language in order to gain a better understanding of their message — and may signal that they’re following along with visual cues such as nodding, eye contact, or avoiding potential interruptions, like fidgeting and pacing. If you want to try growing your active listening skillset and you’re ready totake the active listening challenge,read on! Using Active Listening to Coach Others Takes Intentional EffortWhile important, active listening and reflecting, responding, and giving feedback aren’t always easy. Daily pressures and demands often overtake our work, leaving limited time and energy to focus on slowing down to really listen to, and coach, direct reports. Yet while time for formal coaching sessions may be limited, you can fit in coaching moments and coaching conversations. The trick is to be an attentive listener and have your toolkit of active listening techniques at the ready for whenever such moments occur. Unlike critical listening, an active listener is not trying to evaluate the message and offer their own opinion, but rather, to simply make the speaker feel heard and validated. At CCL, we help leaders go beyond basic active listening skills so that they’re better equipped to truly listen to understand others — including the facts, feelings, and values that may be hidden behind the words actually being shared. At the organizational level, this is how to build a workplace culture of truth and courage. The Purpose & Benefits of Active ListeningBefore we dive into specific active listening techniques and how to improve your active listening skills, it’s important to take a step back and understand why they matter. First, when a leader engages in active listening, it helps establish trust between both parties, shows empathy for others, and fosters psychological safety. Being a thoughtful listener, asking questions, seeking clarification, and encouraging others to share their perspective and will reinforce your role as a spouse, friend, colleague, coach, and mentor. Being a strong, attentive listener who can provide effective feedback will also enable you to coach your people more effectively. Your co-workers and direct reports will respect you more, and you’ll likely see improvements in your relationships with them as a result. Once you begin to put the active listening skillset into practice, you’ll notice the positive impact it has in a number of areas, including in personal and professional relationships, at work, and in various social situations. Steps
Method 1 Method 1 of 12:Get rid of distractions.
Method 2 Method 2 of 12:Maintain eye contact.
Method 3 Method 3 of 12:Lean in toward the person.
Method 4 Method 4 of 12:Smile and nod.
Method 5 Method 5 of 12:Give short verbal affirmations.
Method 6 Method 6 of 12:Avoid being judgmental.
Method 7 Method 7 of 12:Stop thinking of what to say next.
Method 8 Method 8 of 12:Let them finish without interruption.
Method 9 Method 9 of 12:Ask open-ended questions for clarification.
Method 10 Method 10 of 12:Restate their points in your own words.
Method 11 Method 11 of 12:Validate the other person’s feelings.
Method 12 Method 12 of 12:Avoid giving advice.
What Is Active Listening?Likecritical thinkingandproblem-solving, active listening is asoft skillthat’s held in high regard by employers. When interviewing for jobs, using active listening techniques can help show the interviewer how your interpersonal skills can draw people out. Active listening redirects your focus from what is going on inside of your head to the needs of your prospective employer or interviewer. This technique can help reduce your nervousness during an interview. By placing your focus, through active listening, squarely upon the interviewer, you prove that you:
It’s important to not interrupt, or worse, try to answer the question before you know what the interviewer is asking. Listen carefully to the interviewer’s questions, ask for clarification if necessary, and wait until the interviewer has finished talking to respond. |